Its a...

I abandoned ship on not finding out the sex. The night before the big ultrasound I had a talk with Chris at length about what we wanted to do. The idea of being alone together at the ultrasound seemed lovely and then we could surprise our families at Christmas. It was a lot of fun. I won't keep you waiting....

Introducing....

 Bennett Paul. 
Our wonderful baby boy number three

 

Baby name game

I don't know about how you all feel. Whenever I am not pregnant coming up with baby names is so fun and easy. Once I am actually pregnant its so hard and the last thing I want to worry about. It stresses me out so much. There are so many things to consider. This little person will have this name the rest of their lives.

One thing that has never been difficult for me is middle names. We always use the name of a family member we cherish and want to represent. Carsyn Christopher is named after his Daddy and Alec Daniel is named after my Daddy. This time it was a no brainer. If we have a girl her middle name will be Kimberly and if we have a third son his middle name will be Paul. Both are after my amazing Mother-in-Law Kimberly Paulette, whom we miss every day.

I think Chris and I have actually picked out names for this little one. I can't believe it! I'm not even in the second trimester yet!! **Disclaimer: we do reserve the right to change our minds at anytime in the next six months, lol.


Bennett Paul - because I think its a strong name, cute, not gender neutral, and uncommon.

Chrisann Kimberly- When naming a daughter I wanted something feminine, uncommon, but not crazy made up sounding. I came across the name "Chrissy" and thought it was adorable. The only problem is Chrissy Kimberly has a weird flow and she may think its too cutesy when she is older. I turned to my good friend Babycenter and started searching for 'full names'. When I saw Chrisann and said it outloud to myself I love, love, loved it. The most amazing part of it all is my fantastic Sister-in-Law is named Raeann. Kim named her after two family members by putting their names together. Our baby girl will be named after her Daddy "Chris" and Auntie "Ann" AND her Grandma Kimberly. 

*Smitten*

We will find out gender of our little baby on little baby's Birthday!

Halloween 2011

These kids are the real deal!!!

My Fireman driving the firetruck

My Police Officer rockin' the squad car

Feast your eyes on... THIS!

Your eyes do not deceive you.

Our beautiful baby #3 is due May 13, 2012.

If you read my previous post you know this is nine months to the day of my beloved Mother-in-Laws tragic passing AND Mother's Day. Its too perfect.

My reversal WORKED!

I found out I was pregnant the day I got home from a girls only Vegas trip.

Due to my reversal surgery I am high risk for tubal pregnancy. They drew my HCG levels every 72 hours starting at 3w6d pregnant. They were 76, 359, 1022, and 3851. Ultra sound at 5w2d showed a gestational sac and yolk right where its supposed to be!

Little Bebe was already measuring two days ahead.

I have another ultrasound October 3rd to see that beautiful heartbeat.

I hope they do NOT change my due date, however, I grow 'em big so I am sad to say they most likely will. I know the true date in my heart though.

I will be telling my work after my next ultrasound so keeping this news from Facebook and the work place rumor mill until then is hoped.  I appreciate your assistance in that regard.

I am just so excited I had to tell SOMEBODY!

I am six weeks along today which is SUPER early. All signs have been looking fabulous so I feel confident in sharing it now.

I love being a "Mom Two Boys" and will be ecstatic to be a Mom to three! I won't lie I am hoping to have a daughter of my own but will not be devastated if I get another amazing son. We will not be finding out the sex until birth!

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star

On August 13th, 2011 tragedy struck our family. Sometimes there are things that happen that you read about in newspapers. Those things don't happen to your family. Unfortunately, on this date at 8:00 p.m., It did happen to us. It has taken me a month to be able to write about it. I still pretend it didn't happen.

Chris's beloved Mother was killed by his Father who then took his own life. I won't get into extreme details but I will say it is something we NEVER expected. I consider his Mom to be the most ideal Mother-in-Law. I felt very close to her and was told all the time by her how she felt so lucky to have me. I felt lucky to have her too. She is somebody that everybody loved and nobody had a single bad thing to say about her. I texted her that morning and spoke to her the afternoon before. I know the last thing I said to her was "I love you". I am so thankful for that.

Everybody in our lives have been very amazing and supportive. I am happy to say Chris and I have sought counseling and it will be a very long road for us but we hope every day it will get a little bit easier.

Carsyn sang Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star in front of everybody to his Gramma Kimma at her funeral. He tells us all the time that Gramma Kimma is sleeping in the stars. Friends of Kim gave my Sons the most amazing gift by renaming a star "Grandma Kim" through the star registry. I am so sad that she is going to miss so much. I have to remind myself frequently that she really isn't missing a thing. She is watching it all.

15 months

Alec is 15 months old. He is my wild child and becoming quite demanding! He has a crazy head of curly hair that I refuse to cut. The craziness of it just fits him too much.

Alec climbs over everything and has zero fear. There isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't have a bruise on his head.

I love how he thinks he can do any and everything his brother can do. He rides the ride-on cars around the house and yard, he drives little cars around appropriately on the furniture (that took Carsyn much longer to figure out!) He is pretty much a little boy already!

He refuses to be fed. No matter how messy it is he wants to do it himself. He tries with all his might to use a spoon properly. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes he goes straight to the bath.

He says Down, No, Yes, Hey, Eddie, All Done, Sit Down, Cookie (cooka), and a few others that surprise you when he says them.

At his appointment the doctor marked his stats down as Height 33" (90%) Weight 26lbs (75%).

Squishy face, Buggy, Buggo, Buggy Boo Boo, Bug, Little Aleak, and Aleak-Aleak. He can get bigger every day. But. He will ALWAYS. Be my baby.

Action packed year!

I have to say we are so fortunate this year and are having a lot of fun! I am actually using my vacation time on vacations instead of maternity leave and spending money on ourselves instead of saving for me to be out of work unpaid to have babies.  It started in April this year with a trip to Cozumel. This is what we have to look forward to still


June: day Zoo trip for Carsyn's third Birthday and a party, weekend trip to the lake
July: Britney Spears concert, four day Duluth trip with the boys and another couple and their boys
August: Girls trip to Vegas!!! (just planned TODAY!)
September: weekend canoe trip with my parents and brothers, NEW ORLEANS with two other couples
October-December: Busy with the Holidays. I also bought a two night stay at a water park to take the boys. We haven't picked the dates yet!
January: Cozumel for seven days! My parents are coming and another couple we are friends with!!

I know it sounds like I am bragging. Well, maybe I am a little :) we will start actively putting our resources and focus towards a possible baby #3 after our Cozumel trip!! Its been kind of nice planning things. Before it was like "well I might be pregnant so..." or "I might be too sick" making babies is tough work!!

Here are my babies... Carsyn will be three in a few weeks and Alec is now 15 months

My little secret

Wow. Just writing that in the title made my heart flutter. I don't plan on publishing this for a very long time but I do want to write it now while its all fresh. No, I'm not pregnant, lol. Today (October 22, 2010) I called the Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center in Chapel Hill, North Carolina and scheduled my reversal. I have read a lot about this center through online message boards and forums. According to their 2009 statistics 90% of their patients that were under 30 years old and had the same tubal ligation procedure done as me were able to get pregnant after their reversal. I can't believe I am doing this! The date is set (December 20, 2010), surgery paid for ($6,000 *gasp*), and airline tickets bought. The date is perfect. I already took vacation December 20-25 so all I need to do was ask for one extra day of vacation since I am working in dispatch. I am able to sit all day at work and wear comfy clothing so I can return to work after one week. If I was on the road I imagine I would need at least three weeks off.

I hope the surgery works not only because Chris and I have been strongly considering a Baby Grew #3, but I have been having a lot of PTLS symptoms (Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome). A lot of doctors don't recognize this as a real occurance, but I am promise you I am experiencing it first hand. If you want to know more about PTLS feel free to google away. I have headaches and even vomiting the day before my period starts, oily hair, extremely tired during periods, severe cramping off and on all month long, heavy periods.... to name a few. All of this is nothing like what I used to experience.

The thought of another baby is both exciting as well as overwhelming. I am not the type of girl that likes pregnancy for the most part and am pretty miserable the entire time. Also, I really enjoy sleep so the newborn phase is not my favorite. I love my boys so much and they are so wonderful that my heart swells at the thought of another little person just like them in my life. Carsyn isn't quite two and a half yet and Alec is only eight months but they are already like best friends and are always playing together. The thought of another sibling for them is just so awesome. Chris and I have decided that we are going to go ahead with the surgery and if its meant to be we will have another Grew Baby. If it isn't meant to be we are already truly blessed and have nothing to be disappointed about. Surgery is scheduled for December but we don't have any interest in starting to try to conceive right away. We have a trip to Mexico in April that I have every intention of enjoying a few cocktails on!!

When I first started to regret my Tubal Ligation procedure and think about another baby we first looked into adoption and then IVF. I won't lie I am terrified of getting put under and having my body cut open. I am a big baby when it comes to pain. The truth is I can't imagine buying a $12,500 lottery ticket (which would be IVF) for one shot at it working. I don't think I could be ok with being told I wasn't pregnant in that situation. They have "insurance" programs that give you 3-6 attempts for a set amount (like $22,000) and if you don't take a baby home from the hospital they give you all or a percentage of that back. The issue is it doesn't cover medication which can be $4-7,000 each try. So if you succeeded on try #6 it could end up costing you $64,000!! Or if it didn't work you are still out $30,000 in medication. I really feel for the women who go through this procedure to have their babies. If I wasn't able to have my boys I would have no problem paying that. Its just hard to do it now that I have two kids. I have to consider how that much money could affect them when there is a much cheaper option out there for me. To top that off if it does work there is a 40% chance of twins. I don't think I could handle that.

Well, just wanted to share my excitement over my scheduled surgery!! I will be sure to write more about this later. Please understand why these won't get posted for quite some time. We want to keep this between us for awhile.

UPDATE: Surgery went great in December. The doctor said my tube lengths are 9 cm and 8 cm (they start at 10) so I didn't lose very much of my tubes. He said he didn't see any scar tissue so believes I have a great chance of having another baby. We haven't started trying yet but feel brave enough to share this information now (April 12th, 2011)